Property of Cell 2
by PerfectCell17
Summary: Sequel to Property of Cell, but this time he's writing about his first 10 days in hell!


Property of Cell 2

Dear Diary:

I am back, and as perfect as ever, I might add! Well, unless you count the fact that I'm stuck in hell, with no way out! Damn, I can't believe that no good half-Saiyan brat was to one to kill me though! On the plus side, I did get to kill Goku, so I guess I succeeded in doing what other villains could only dream of doing! Mwahahaha--er, ahem, I don't care what anyone says, I still have too damn many of Vegeta's cells in me! Oh well, nothing I can do about it, or is there... Hmmm, anyway, as if you couldn't tell, but my Cell Games didn't end the way I had planned, I didn't even get to kill anyone besides Goku! I was planning on also killing Vegeta and chrome-dome, you know, to get rid of the nightmares. Luckily though, I haven't had them again, and I'm hoping it'll remain that way! Hmph, I can't believe I got sent to hell! Apparently I'm too 'evil' to get sent to the Upper World, even though I tried to play the 'not-evil-just-misunderstood' card, they didn't buy it. Well, if I'm stuck in the hell hole, literally, I might as well do some sight seeing while I'm at it! Hey, Mr. Cuddles died too, so he should be around here somewhere! I can't wait to see him again! Gotta go!

P.S. First day in hell... Not fun.

Dear Diary:

It's me again...obviously! Well, I have some bad news... I didn't find Mr. Cuddles! I asked some of the guards about it, and they said that they had seen him, but the only bad thing is they 'misplaced' him somewhere! How dare they lose my fucking plushie?! They shall pay for that, dearly! I already started my revenge on them, by sicking the Ginyu Force on them! Ha, let's see how they like watching those damn poses over and over and over and-- I think you get the point! Well, since I was Cuddles-less, I had to find some means of amusement, so I introduced myself to a few other the others stuck in this miserable place. First off was the Ginyu Force, creepy! Very creepy! That's why sending them after the guards was a good place to start for their torture. After being shown all eighty seven poses, twice, I finally got away from them, but for how long? Damn, they actually had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to learn those moronic poses! I seriously cannot imagine myself doing them, or can I... Okay, bad mental images! Very bad! No matter how many times they say it, I am NOT cut out to be a dancer! Shit, they're back! Gotta run, literally!

P.S. Second day in hell... Even less fun than yesterday!

Dear Diary:

Dammit, I took me the rest of yesterday to get rid of those damn Ginyu Goons, but, I'm sure they won't be bothering me anymore. Heheheh, not after I stuffed them each in a dryer, well all of them except that Recoome guy, he was too big, so I used a freezer. Man, who would have thought that they would have so many appliances in hell?! Well, actually I did try to work one of those things once, I think it was called a stove, and those things are hot! They should have some kind of warning on them, like "Warning: Don't stick your tail in when turned on!" That would have saved me ALOT of annoyance, and my tail wouldn't have gotten baked either! Grr, I guess I now see why those electronics are down here, it's where they belong! Hmph, and with threats like those, they dare call me evil?! I don't think so! I do not go around burning tails like those damn contraptions! I hear that the Saiyans have a weakness for those stove things though, along with fridges. Very interesting, this could prove to be very useful for future evil plots and schemes, that is, if I ever get out of here to do them! Well, nothing left to write about now, so I guess I'll go meet some others! Atleast they won't be as bad as the Ginyu Force... Hopefully!

P.S. Third day in hell... Amusingly annoying!

Dear Diary:

I was wrong! Very, very wrong! There is someone worse than the Ginyu's, and his name is Kold, Frieza's father! Damn, he's been hounding me since I introduced myself! They first damn question he asked me was if I was single! What the fuck?! Well, obviously I rejected him, and kicked his ass, so he's leaving me alone for the moment. That is, except for the fact that he's always staring at me, no matter where I am! Gawking at me like a peice of meat, just waiting to be eaten! Okay, bad mental images again! I gotta stop doing that! Maybe the staring wouldn't bother me as much, that is, if you would stop winking every time I looked over at him! Hmmm, prehaps I could make a deal with him, set him up with Goku or Vegeta in exchange for him to leave me the hell alone! But then again, that would mean I would actually have to have a way to get one of the Saiyans down here to date him... Hopefully Vegeta will die or something, then my plan can get put in motion! The Kold encounter kinda, actually, majorly freaked me out, and made me nervous to talk to anyone else, so I don't think I gonna today! Maybe I'll go check in with the guards, see if they found my Cuddles! My precious... Okay, that was just sad! Well, see ya!

P.S. Fourth day in hell... Kami help me!

Dear Diary:

Grrr, damn guards! They still haven't found my Mr. Cuddles yet, I don't even think they've looked! Don't they realize how important Cuddles is?! He is MY plushie, afterall, therefore, he is perfect. 'Cause nothing less than perfect for the perfect creature, that creature being me, of course! I just hope they find him soon, they better, or else they shall feel the wrath of the perfect power! Heh, no matter how many times I said it, it never gets old! I am perfect! How many other people can say that?! None, well, except for Mr. Cuddles! Well, even being perfect, a bio-extract-android can still get bored, like I haven't written about that before... So, I decided to go meet someone else, who, thank Kami, didn't come on to me or call me a dancer! There is one problem with him though, the only thing he says is 'Kakarot', well, he did say 'no' once, but I think he did that just to annoy me! From what I gather from the others though, his name is Broly, and was killed by Goku. Gee, who hasn't been killed by Goku? Me, that's who! Hmm, I have an idea to keep me amused for the next little while, so I think I'll go now! Ciao!

P.S. Fifth day in hell... Ultimate perfection!

Dear Diary:

My little idea did prove to be quite entertaining! What I did was go ask Broly questions like 'who do you think is sexy?' and 'who would you want to fuck?', and of course, he would answer 'Kakarot'. Man, I haven't laughed that hard for a while! I even got the others asking questions with me! That's how I met the two Saiyans, Raditz and Nappa. Those two aren't that bad, but they do have a very odd obesession with board games, that's all they ever seem to do! Those things are just another example of what deserves to be down here in hell! I still get nervous around that damn HeadBandz game! Why the hell would they put a condom as one of the things to guess?! I guess I'll never get the human ways of entertainment. Anyways, the Saiyans did eventually get me to play a game with them, just one, and that was Hungry Hungry Hippos. I gotta admit, it was rather amusing, watching those little creatures, probably hippos, eat those little marble things. Of course, I won, I guess even my game playing skills are perfect as well. Too bad they didn't work during the Cell Games though. No matter how amusing Hungry Hungry whatever was, it doesn't beat blasting random humans! Nothing does, well unless you count blasting random Saiyans! Hmm, well, there are some random Saiyans, prehaps I'll go blast them! Bye!

P.S. Sixth day in hell... Still perfect, no matter what!

Dear Diary:

Raditz and Nappa are pissed off at me about the whole random blasting thing, so they've banned me from playing any games with them, until I think about what I've done! The only thing that I did was kill some of my boredem, nothing wrong with that! It's a free er--hell, isn't is? Actually you wouldn't think so, not after hearing all of the damn rules! Fucked up ones too, like 'No licking the TV'. You know, I don't think I want to know how such a rule came into effect! I didn't even know this damn place had a television either, I wish I knew where it was! Hmph, I guess everything has been misplaced down here! Aside from the Saiyans, I've been amused with watching the others go bother Broly the way I did. Ah, they're like my little apprentices in the art of annoyance, and they're learning rather well too! Too bad they weren't so messed up, and well, creepy, or they could be useful for thinking of a way of out here, and other plots to do once we're free! There's still the one called Frieza that I have yet to actually meet and talk to, but he has Kold's blood in him, so I'm not sure that I even want to! Not today, anyway, I just want to relax, and watch my demi-perfects, my apprentices, torture the others. No matter how good they get though, they'll never rival my perfection! Well, I'm gonna go watch 'em try!

P.S. A full week in hell... It's only been a week?!

Dear Diary:

Watching the others quickly got boring, so I needed to find something else to do. I settled with going to go meet Frieza. He doesn't seem too bad, he hasn't tried to hit on me, get me to pose, play games with me or anything like that. We also have something in common, the hate and wanting revenge of the race of the Saiyans! Maybe Frieza just seems alittle too obsessed with the revenge thing... Hell, who am I kidding, there's no such thing as too much revenge! It's one of the finer things in life, or death, like fighting, blood, and plushies! Hmm, I wonder if Frieza has plushie... Anyway, we seem to get along really well, and are currently thinking of a way to get the hell out of here, let's just hope it works! What I wouldn't give to be alive again... I was actually feared, rather than hit on! Glared at, not gawked at! Those were the days... People down here just don't respect the perfection! Well, I talked with Frieza for most of the day, and we ranted about the Saiyans, and basically exchanged life stories. We were bored. I don't get why Dr. Gero couldn't have put more Frieza cells in me! No, we would rather just stuff me full of Goku and Vegeta-ness! Hmph, and I thought he was on my side! Oh well! I gotta go now me and Frieza are gonna go try to hunt down that TV!

P.S. Eighth day in hell... No comment.

Dear Diary:

Dammit, we found out that the TV is held up at the Check-In Station, for reasons that made the 'no licking the TV' rule, so that plan went down the drain! No matter though, we'll think of others! With nothing else to do, me and Frieza went our seperate ways, I'm not sure what he did, but I went to go check in on the Mr. Cuddles status. Still nothing! Damn them! I swear, if even one thread on Cuddles is harmed, or out of place, those bastards will live to regret it! I really miss him, if you haven't been able to tell. He kept me company when I was bored, and stayed up with me when I was having those nightmares. Playing random games, such as blow up random people, just aren't the same without him by my side... Well, enough with this mushiness, I have things to do! I'll let you know what they are as soon as I think of them! I was bored, so I went fishing at the Bloody Pond, I didn't catch any fish though, or even any creatures that were alive, but I did catch a toaster! Something else that really should have a warning on it! Damn appliances... Hmm, the guards are calling me, I better go see what they want! Bye bye bye! Damn, too much music!

P.S. Nine days down... Infinity to go...

Dear Diary:

Yay, I'm so happy! After waiting all these days, I was finally reunited with Mr. Cuddles, and he was still in the same condition he was the last time I saw him! It turns out that he was in the same dryer as that moron Guldo, and apparently when the guards freed him they found Mr. Cuddles there as well! I should give him a bath or something, I know I'd want to get clean if I got stuck in a dryer with anyone down here! Well, most of today was sent catching up with Cuddles, and filling him in on the details of the Cell Games. He wants to help me and Frieza in our plotting against the ones who killed me, I just hope Frieza doesn't mind! Oh well, either way, Cuddles is in and that's that! Wow, it feels great to be back with him, I'm already less bored! Plus, if Kold asks again, I could just say that I'm 'with' Mr. Cuddles. Double yay! Well, I'm gonna go give Cuddles the tour of hell, and introduce him to the others! See ya!

P.S. Tenth day in hell... We are perfect!

-Owari-

A/N: Yay, I finally decided to make a sequel to the origional Property of Cell! I don't know where any of this came from, I was just bored today, so I typed it up! I hope it's as good, and well, random as the first one! I wanna do a fic on the origion of Mr. Cuddles, and maybe some more Propertys, maybe!

Anyways, please review, tell me what ya thought! :)


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